The desire to hit or slap must be tied. Beat, which is called a parent as a punishment (in physical form), will give a lot of influence for children. Not positive effects, but negative.

meaningless

Why children should not be beaten? Because, basically, blow not teach our children about what he should do. In fact, punishment in the form of a blow will make the child feel bad or evil,

Other impacts, such as mentioned Kidshealth, will teach the child that hitting is okay when angry. Even worse, hit becomes a way to solve problems or vent their emotions, and this will harm the child.

Dignity falls

Punch as punishment will only produce negative emotions, not the positive. Make children trauma, anger, dropped his self-esteem, and ultimately make them a grudge.

Children’s cognitive function also influential. Research conducted at Duke University on 12 month baby who was beaten showed score lower on cognitive tests than children who are not beaten, after they are three years old. Hitting also have deleterious effects on behavior and mental development of children.

Lisa Berlin, head of research of the Center for Child and Family Policy, Duke University, and colleagues, found that children who were beaten at the age of one year tend to have more aggressive behavior at age two years. These children are also on the measurement of the ability to think at the age of three years did not show as good as other kids who are not spanked.

“What we are talking about babies and toddlers. I think, cognitively, they do not understand about right and wrong or punishment, and the benefits of the stroke,” added Lisa.

more aggressive

Meanwhile, another study conducted at Tulane University found that from the approximately 2,500 children studied usually or often beaten at the age of three years, they tend to be more aggressive when stepping on the age of 5 years.

Punishment does not teach that provided an internal control from the the child so that wrong behavior is not done anymore. Punishment does not teach children how to behave according to expectations of parents and how when a similar situation arise again.

The flurry of fathers as breadwinners typically build children rarely saw his father except holidays. to not mention if dad came home from work additional typically tired and sullen facial displays that build the kids petrified of approaching.

Psychologists found a father and son relationship may have an effect on children emotions as adults. throughout now, far more analysis centered on the connection of mother and kid.

Psychologist from California State University-Fullerton, Professor Melanie Mallers found children who have an honest relationship with the daddy can have a additional stable emotions when faced with stress as adults.

Researchers conducted a survey of 921 adult men and ladies conducted through phone interviews. Participants aged from twenty five years to seventy four years that centered on psychological and emotional issues.

Examples of queries like whether or not participants were depressed, anxious or unhappy when underneath stress in existence. Conditions that would arise owing to arguments, disputes, tensions within the workplace, family issues to expertise discrimination

Participants were conjointly asked concerning the standard of childhood relationships with fathers and mothers. The queries raised like how participants assess its relationship with the daddy and mother for several years. what proportion time and a spotlight that obtained when participants are required.

The results found participants tend to possess an honest childhood with mothers than fathers. Relationships with mothers also are less experienced psychological distress. whereas the connection along with her father dryly.

“These results aren’t stunning as a result of past analysis has shown that mother’s role in kid care and forever be ready to offer comfort,” said Professor Mallers.

Father will have a singular vogue in interacting with their children. however the psychologists checked out the daddy shouldn’t be too cool along with his son as a result of have a sway on children emotions as adults.

Generally, children who are social intelligence (interpersonal) also self smart (intrapersonal). Intelligent self-meaning person’s ability to understand ourselves, how he cultivate ourselves Good emotions and thoughts and act on that understanding.

Armed with these two abilities, the child possessed strong capital to compete in the future, says psychologist and Director of the Supreme Spirit Power Training Institute, Sani B Hermawan, Psi.

But what if preschoolers are reluctant to hang out and look no friends. As a parent, you need to try to trace and find a solution. Perhaps these four things to be the cause:

1. Less supportive environment.
Parents in large cities are generally too “worried” off his son play. It may be that the neighborhood is not child friendly or there is no place or facilities for children’s play, too crowded with vehicles coming and going, so that parents tend to forbid children to play outside the house. Can also live in environments that are too individualistic, such as in the complex form of cluster housing or apartments with no play facilities.

2. Less stimulation.
Environment is actually quite supportive but for some reason the parent too limiting the child relationship. Such as fear of kidnapping, do not want kids to play with certain children, too many rules or restrictions in the home, and so on. Because of lack of stimulation, eventually socializing skills in children was reduced.

3. Personal introverted.
In addition to external factors, there is also a factor in the child of his own. That is children who are introverted personality. Generally, these children tend to be quiet, introverted, prefer to be alone or to play alone, uncomfortable when in a crowd and so on.

4. Prefer an individual game.
It is undeniable children’s games now make it more individual. As computer games that can be played alone or play with others without the need to interact online games such direct. He can be absorbed in himself, “as if” do not need other people. In the long run, this will certainly reduce social skills.

After knowing what the problem is, of course parents should immediately seek a solution for the preschool age children should be encouraged to begin to make friends as widely as possible so that future children do not become less self-conscious because of association.

“Children who can manage his emotions capable of expressing his feelings. This capability starts from how parents nurture him. If your child is sad and crying, then you are banned and considered trivial grief, children learn to hide feelings,” says psychologist Christine Nicholson, PhD.

Research shows parents tend to be more concerned with how the feelings of daughters than sons. When girls feel sad, parents will be more gentle. While the boys forced to always be strong even if they’re feeling sad. The boy should not be used to grief. Parenting like this would make the boys are trained to hide his feelings. They feel ashamed if the show of grief. In the end the boy could not communicate well.

Parents have a role in scored the generation of strong men without fear of showing his feelings. You, as parents, can create a male figure who is able to manage emotions well in a way:

* Draw the child to talk
Boys also need attention and you can talk openly as you talk to girls. Invite your son to talk openly about their feelings. Nicholson pointed out, when home from school, boy you look sad. Immediately open the conversation with him, “You look sad, what is it? Nothing I can do for you? Looks like i really felt that something bad happened at school”.

Use a speech that will make the child tell the story. If the child begins to talk, give support, including respect for his feelings at that time. Provide comments that make children feel they are supported by their parents. Although he was sad and stressed with school work is piling up, she knew that her parents understand her feelings and was always at his side. Do not give lectures on the child, obviously Nicholson.

* Help your child find solutions
“Boys tend to focus on the problems encountered rather than emotion,” said Dan Kindlon, PhD, lecturer at the Harvard School of Public Health who is also the author of Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys.

The task of parents is to teach boys that feelings of disappointment, sadness, anger, fear is natural and teach boys to recognize and accept those feelings. Boys need to be aware of these feelings are part of him, which might be an indirect removal. By understanding the feelings, the boys will begin to accept themselves, and recognize the problem. That way he would been helped to find solutions of the problem, after he could overcome his emotions.

Below is the tips so you can be ‘with the children’ :
1. How busy you are be sure to allow time to be WITH CHILDREN. at
least half an hour a day.

‘WITH CHILDREN’ means that you talk WITH your children rather than
talk TO your children, you hear the hearts of your children, you
may also be smiling, laughing, crying, clinging, coloring, story
telling, mess up a room together, cleaning up together. and
others. There are many parents attend 24 hours NEAR their
children but not 5 minutes was WITH their CHILDREN.

2. Do not ever redeem your sin of work by offering a lot of things
(games, cake, gifts) to children in excess, which is more than he
needs, and even your children may not need it. Many parents who
work, not all, often giving their children who left behind to
work with a variety of gifts or nearly filled most of their
desire. It’s not productive for the child’s future. Your kids can
be kids which instant, because of all their wishes are met.

3. Before going to bed, face to her eyes, kiss her forehead, pray
together and say good night

4. Begin each morning with great intimacy to children. Make him up
to laugh when he see you. When you interact with the child even
at tired, which really feel the true happiness is the parent, not
the child.

5. In collaboration with your wife or husband, install a positive
values to children through the story. This is a long-term
provision for children.

But many people agree, reading is one that must be mastered skills of children from an early age, because of low reading ability of children would have an impact on their complete lack of control of science and mathematics.

At this point the question arises whether technical or cultivate reading interest of children to the reading of which should come first, so given his book Glenn Doman in his book “Teach your baby reading” Call of children ages 18 months to four years have a curiosity that is very large, are curiosity not only appears when looking at the symbol contained in the book.

The introduction to the pleasures and love of books can be done by parents from the family environment, and the following tips for kids to loves books :

1. Give a role models to read every day.
2. Encourage children to interact with books.
3. Provide a favorite book in the easy places reachable
4. Take time to listen and guide children to read.
5. Encourage children to the bookstore or library.
6. Create a cozy atmosphere, quiet, and fun.
7. Do not limit reading material but give them direction like the
quality books.
8. Do a little discussion about the book they have read.
9. Create a game that could increase their interest in reading.

Well, the most important thing is we can not force a child should be able to read at an early age, but the difficult is how your child LOVE BOOK, not forced to should be able to read, because the child if already likes and loves books, children are curious to read it, and the desire to learn to read.

admitted guilty
Be aware that you have made a mistake, and admit it. This is one important factor in asking for forgiveness. Often it is difficult, because dignity as a parents. Forget the dignity, if we did not want the problem continues to go on.

sincere
When asked for forgiveness, you must be sincere. Children will easily find out when you lied to him about it then you must truly apologize.

calm
Asking for forgiveness in an emotional state be useless. If you have not been able to be calm, tell him that you need time for yourself, before continuing his conversation. Then, think about what happened and what causes it so the mind can be calm.

Right on target
Tell your apology directly and in a sentence that is not convoluted. Remember, sought forgiveness is the attitude you had just happened, rather than your personality. For example, apologize for your anger and harsh words, rather than on an emotional personality.

Do not blame
Do not blame back the children just to justify your stance. For example, by saying that if he is not lazy, you will not stay mad at him. This is similar to not apologize, but rather blame.

Apologizing
Saying that you are guilty and asked if she would forgive him will make it easier to express regret, and make the children learn to understand how to improve relations.

evaluation
Together with children, look again at how you can solve that problem very well, and agree a way that will be made if the same problem occurred again later.

Forget
You only a human being, who certainly are not perfect and can make a mistake. However, do not continue to dwell on guilt. After apologizing to the kids, forget about the problem and try not to repeat it again, just like when asked not to repeat mistakes.

Do not overdo it
Excessive and always apologize, even for things that are very insignificant, will only make you lose your dignity. Ask for forgiveness because you are guilty, not because you want to try to impose discipline or penalty fee that is reasonable, for his mistakes.

Dared to admit our mistakes makes the children feel valued and children can learn to be fair as you demonstrated, that is not to ashamed to admit our mistake, besides that you as parents will be more respected by the children.

* Knowing the truth about the divorce itself, with simple
explanations. Protected by money divorce.

* Build and foster relationships that are independent with each
parent.

* Free from having to take sides, the need to defend one of their
parents, the need to patronize one of their parents.

* Free from the responsibility for causing the divorce.

* Ensure that they are not to blame.

* Free from having to take over parental responsibility. A child
can not be “head of household” or “little mother” at home.

* Hoping that both parents will adhere to the plans of parents of
children and respect the commitments that have been approved to
provide time for children.

* Hoping that both parents will keep each other informed on matters
relating to health, dental, educational and other legal issues
related to children.

* Receive love, guidance, patience, understanding and limitations
of the parents.

* Spend time with each parent, without regard to financial support.

* Supported financially by both parents, no matter how much time
spent by each parent spends with the child.

* Maintain privacy when talking to one parent over the phone.

* Have own bedroom and the room in every house parents.

* Participate in activities in accordance with age throughout the
activity does not interfere with the relationship of each parent.

* Avoid discussions about things that hurt from the divorce of
their parents.

* Avoid being made to feel guilty for loving both parents.

* Avoid making decisions regarding custody or visiting schedule.

* Avoid re-examined by a parent after the child is visiting the
other parent.

* Not used as messengers or spies from each parent.

* Not required to keep the secrets of each parent.