Managing Difficult Behaviour in Young Children

I have often heard the question asked: How do I find a punishment, or reward, that works with my child?

In my experience, one type of “currency” that all children respond to is regular, one-on-one, attentive, happy time with a parent.

Depending on the age of your child, this may boil down to a variety of options: a nightly 20-minute set of bedtime stories that the child chooses; a certain game they would love to play with you; sitting on the swing while talking and joking together… it could be anything, as long as it involves your undivided attention, and pleasant time spent really listening to whatever he or she has to say, with smiles and positive, loving responses.

How do you use your “currency”? It should be used with just a few specific, very problematic behaviours you are trying to stop. Don’t overuse it; be fair and pick your battles. Do not expect behaviour that is above the age level of your child.

But use it on those major needs: “Darling, don’t hit people. If you hit anyone again today, we can’t have our special story time tonight, can we.” If the undesirable behaviour continues, you MUST enforce the loss of the privilege for that day. No matter how bad the tantrum is at the time of withholding the privilege. Remind them how the system works: “I love you so much sweetie, but we can’t have our special story time today, because Mummy said no hitting and then you hit me again.”

When parents remind their child of this in that moment of the misbehaviour (perhaps after one warning or one request to stop), they are amazed at the results. The behaviour probably won’t change that very first time, but when this system is used correctly and consistently for a number of days, I have seen many parents be amazed and delighted with the results.

Should parents leave their children with a babysitter?

There is an impression that is mostly come from people’s gossip, or from television. When parents are busy, or have an important event to attend to; where the situation doesn’t allow the parents to bring their children along, they usually will leave them behind with a paid babysitter. And it is not easy to find a reliable babysitter nowadays. Some can be found from agency; while others are neighbors teenagers, or your next door neighbor. It will be if you have dependable relatives who can look after your children for that night, until you return.

The debate is whether you should leave your children behind with a total stranger if you can only found a babysitter. They are not your relatives, nor your best friend. Her job only to look after the children for the night, and they might not have previous experience with the children also. How can you trust them? For me, I rather find a lame excuse to not attend that particular event if that is possible. Or I rather find my closest relatives to look after my children. Relying on a total stranger is a little bit risky, and I won’t allow that happen.

To be an active parents, there is some sacrifice you are willing to make, and not to regret for the rest of your life.

Parenting teenage children

Teenage is a time when the child does not listen to their parents much and feels that the parents trying to restrain them is a result of their outmoded views on life. They feel that the parents have lived their teenage life in another era which is not applicable to the. Trying to restrain teenagers too much and curbing their freedom excessively will be counter productive, as they would tend to rebel, do things in secret and maybe even resort to harmful activities like drugs to escape from the tension brought about by parents.

The best way to deal with teenage children is giving them freedom, but being aware of their whereabouts and activities. It is imperative that the parents keep track on how their teenage child spends their time, who their best friends are, where they hang out and the likes. This also includes keeping track of their internet usage.

The slightest hint of wrong moves is the time to take corrective action. The longer the action is delayed, the more difficult it woul be to solve the problem.

The ways to tackle problems are many and de4pends on the nature of the child and the situation. If counseling fails an threats of punishment worsens the situation, the only viable option is a change of settings that removes the child from the source of trouble.

Picking A Pediatrician

Picking a Pediatrician Before Baby Arrives

Your new baby will be seen by a pediatrician in the hospital, and will need to be seen again a couple of days after birth, too, so you should line up someone before you deliver.

Is it important to you that the same doctor see your baby from day one?

If you don’t give it some thought beforehand, you’ll wind up with the pediatrician who’s on duty when you deliver for that first check-up. But if you’ve got a doctor lined up in advance, he may be able to see your baby in the hospital, too. Check to see if he has visiting privileges where you’ll be delivering.

Otherwise, you can see the attending pediatrician when you give birth and then switch to your regular doc for the first post-hospital baby visit.

Either way, you need to know who you’re going to be taking your baby to. Talk to other new moms in your neighborhood to get some names of local pediatricians, and schedule an appointment for an interview (ask when you call if the doctor charges for his time.)

Some things to discuss when you sit down with him:

– Practice philosophy with respect to feedings, vaccinations, sleep, etc.

– Insurance accepted

– Office and on call hours — how easy is it to reach/get in to see them, during the week and on weekends?

– Newborn care — for visits in those first couple of months, do they make any special effort to get new babies in more quickly? Is there less office waiting time, or a separate place (away from older, sick or snuffly kids) where you can feed your baby while you wait?

The Joy Of Parenting

Parenting is a vast field with lots and lots of learning. Along with the joy, Completeness and Happiness in the family, new born bring lot of responsibilities with him/her. A proper planning has to be done even before the birth. Proper medications, checkups and proper treatments (if required) are very essential during pregnancy as these effects the Fetus for the rest of its life. Proper guidance and information should be collected in order to handle a new born. We can get this from the hospitals, good books and also lot of information is available in the websites. The best thing to have knowledge regarding handling new born is to talk to experienced people around us. Picking up a good pediatrician is very important in order to make sure your new born is growing well and healthy. We can also have mid wife at home till we learn handling our baby. Lots of love, care, time and dedication is required in order to become a good parent.

Discipline Should Start Early

The topic of child discipline came to mind, especially when I hosted two of my granddaughter’s birthday parties this year. The guests included children from ages 1 to 6 years old. Their mothers were also invited.

Unfortunately, we experienced bad weather for both parties and had to be inside the house. This meant we had to be more careful with the little ones around. I was amazed at how a couple of the mothers did not intervene when they saw their 4 to 6 year old children running around my house like maniacs. They were so bad, they nearly knocked down the little ones who were just in their walking stages.  I felt uneasy having to tell other parents’ children not to run and why, but I had no choice.

I was also amazed at how the same couple of children started knocking down decorations almost as soon as they came inside. It took a lot of effort in decorating and preparing for the party ahead of time. Again, the mothers did not intervene. If the couple of children are acting this way at my house, how are they behaving at home?

I certainly did not expect the children to be spanked or yelled at, but they should have been calmly told what not to do and why not to do it and to show respect at someone else’s home. This responsibility should not have been mine.

In my opinion, children should be taught how to behave at home and elsewhere early in life. Ages 4 to 6 is plenty old enough for children to understand rules. If you wait until they are much older, things can get way out of hand. Children who aren’t taught right from wrong and aren’t disciplined at an early age, are often the children people dread coming into their home. I love children and have a lot of patience with them, but their parents are the ones who should be setting boundaries.

Trading used clothes

The use of second hand and used clothes have grow in popularity over recent times. Growing children tend to outgrow their clothes size very soon, and the clothes would still invariably be brand new when the children stop wearing them. In tough economic times, it makes sense to trade such clothes with friends, relatives or even sell them through garage sales or second-hand shops, and buy second hand clothes which outhers have outgrown.

When buying new items, one should take care to buy quality items that would last and can be traded for other buys. Side by side, the child should be trained on how to take proper care of the clothes so that they last longer.

One note of caution is to accept, purchase or trade second hand clothes only from relatives, friends or people you know, and wash the same thoroughly before making your child wear it. Clothes can be the source for the spread of several invisible bacteria that cause infectious diseases..

How to save money while parenting

In tough economic times, parents are on the lookout to take care of their children without spending much money. The demands of the kids like expensive video games, vacations and gadgets would take a back seat. Families could consider several inexpensive or even free options as substitutes.

One option would be to invite friends and family for fun and games at home, as an alternative to expensive movie tickets and eating out.

Working parents could consider options such as taking split shifts or forming a pool of similar parents and babysitting by turns instead of resorting to professional babysitting or child care services. Parents could also potty train small children at an early age and thereby reduce the expenses on disposable diapers.

Another option is to buy second hand clothes and trade cloth with friends and family members. Your children would invariably have clothes they have outgrown, which would fit their children, and vice versa.

Finally cutting off cable TV would not only save on the direct costs, but would also increase lead to all round development and bondness, when children start spending the time they watch television on more creative uses.

Recession and parenting

The economic recession have hit many families hard, and children would naturally become concerned when they find the parents do not have the means to look after them..The basic thing the parents should do in such an eventuality is assure the child that things will work out fine and return to normal soon. Money problems usually lead to conflicts or fights between the spouses, and this can psychologically disturb the child. It is that such conflict do not happen in front of the child, or affect the spouses behaviour with the child in any way. Parents should ideally make it a point to explain that adults sometimes disagree and reassure children by making up in front of them.

Children wanting to buy an expensive video game when the money situation is tight is common. Instead of flatly denying or scolding the child, the parent should make the child understand what resources are available for recreation, food and clothes, and then train the child to make options by themselves. Teach the child to weigh the advantages and disadvantages of each option and if the child is old enough, let him or her make their own conclusion. If the video game or the other expensive option is turned down, always provide the child with an inexpensive option, even if it means a stroll through the park over a packet of popcorn.

Helping babies walk

A baby’s muscle develops from head to toe, and this explains why the baby first controls his torso, then sit up, then crawl, then stand up and finally walk. Most children start walking between nine and fifteen months of age, though some babies take longer.

Walkers supposedly aid babies walk faster, but this is not recommended as babies tend to rely on them too much and as such their upper leg muscles do not develop the way they should. Moreover, worldwide walkers cause 200,000 injuries to babies, many of which are fatal. Similarly, it is advisable to let the child learn walking barefoot.

Parents and adults can aid the child to walk by supporting them on the torso, ensuring the floor is not slippery and encouraging them by calling them and dangling a piece of chocolate or the like as the baby tries to walk.

It is active attention and communication and not expensive aids or toys that facilitate the complete development of babies.

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