The desire to hit or slap must be tied. Beat, which is called a parent as a punishment (in physical form), will give a lot of influence for children. Not positive effects, but negative.

meaningless

Why children should not be beaten? Because, basically, blow not teach our children about what he should do. In fact, punishment in the form of a blow will make the child feel bad or evil,

Other impacts, such as mentioned Kidshealth, will teach the child that hitting is okay when angry. Even worse, hit becomes a way to solve problems or vent their emotions, and this will harm the child.

Dignity falls

Punch as punishment will only produce negative emotions, not the positive. Make children trauma, anger, dropped his self-esteem, and ultimately make them a grudge.

Children’s cognitive function also influential. Research conducted at Duke University on 12 month baby who was beaten showed score lower on cognitive tests than children who are not beaten, after they are three years old. Hitting also have deleterious effects on behavior and mental development of children.

Lisa Berlin, head of research of the Center for Child and Family Policy, Duke University, and colleagues, found that children who were beaten at the age of one year tend to have more aggressive behavior at age two years. These children are also on the measurement of the ability to think at the age of three years did not show as good as other kids who are not spanked.

“What we are talking about babies and toddlers. I think, cognitively, they do not understand about right and wrong or punishment, and the benefits of the stroke,” added Lisa.

more aggressive

Meanwhile, another study conducted at Tulane University found that from the approximately 2,500 children studied usually or often beaten at the age of three years, they tend to be more aggressive when stepping on the age of 5 years.

Punishment does not teach that provided an internal control from the the child so that wrong behavior is not done anymore. Punishment does not teach children how to behave according to expectations of parents and how when a similar situation arise again.

In my experience, one type of “currency” that all children respond to is regular, one-on-one, attentive, happy time with a parent.

Depending on the age of your child, this may boil down to a variety of options: a nightly 20-minute set of bedtime stories that the child chooses; a certain game they would love to play with you; sitting on the swing while talking and joking together… it could be anything, as long as it involves your undivided attention, and pleasant time spent really listening to whatever he or she has to say, with smiles and positive, loving responses.

How do you use your “currency”? It should be used with just a few specific, very problematic behaviours you are trying to stop. Don’t overuse it; be fair and pick your battles. Do not expect behaviour that is above the age level of your child.

But use it on those major needs: “Darling, don’t hit people. If you hit anyone again today, we can’t have our special story time tonight, can we.” If the undesirable behaviour continues, you MUST enforce the loss of the privilege for that day. No matter how bad the tantrum is at the time of withholding the privilege. Remind them how the system works: “I love you so much sweetie, but we can’t have our special story time today, because Mummy said no hitting and then you hit me again.”

When parents remind their child of this in that moment of the misbehaviour (perhaps after one warning or one request to stop), they are amazed at the results. The behaviour probably won’t change that very first time, but when this system is used correctly and consistently for a number of days, I have seen many parents be amazed and delighted with the results.