Managing Difficult Behaviour in Young Children

I have often heard the question asked: How do I find a punishment, or reward, that works with my child?

In my experience, one type of “currency” that all children respond to is regular, one-on-one, attentive, happy time with a parent.

Depending on the age of your child, this may boil down to a variety of options: a nightly 20-minute set of bedtime stories that the child chooses; a certain game they would love to play with you; sitting on the swing while talking and joking together… it could be anything, as long as it involves your undivided attention, and pleasant time spent really listening to whatever he or she has to say, with smiles and positive, loving responses.

How do you use your “currency”? It should be used with just a few specific, very problematic behaviours you are trying to stop. Don’t overuse it; be fair and pick your battles. Do not expect behaviour that is above the age level of your child.

But use it on those major needs: “Darling, don’t hit people. If you hit anyone again today, we can’t have our special story time tonight, can we.” If the undesirable behaviour continues, you MUST enforce the loss of the privilege for that day. No matter how bad the tantrum is at the time of withholding the privilege. Remind them how the system works: “I love you so much sweetie, but we can’t have our special story time today, because Mummy said no hitting and then you hit me again.”

When parents remind their child of this in that moment of the misbehaviour (perhaps after one warning or one request to stop), they are amazed at the results. The behaviour probably won’t change that very first time, but when this system is used correctly and consistently for a number of days, I have seen many parents be amazed and delighted with the results.

How to discipline your kid?

Being a first time mom i have lots to learn about. Thank God that i have younger brother and i experienced how to take care of babies. At first, i thought that i can handle them because it is so easy feeding, washing, bathing them. But as i experienced the whole sense of being a mother, well, now, i can say that i have judge it all wrong.

I have a two years old son right now. We lived in the parent’s house of my partner. He is the first Grandson and he has three grandmothers. One is single, the other one have a husband but with no child of their own and lastly is my mother in law. It is quite difficult because they have a more old fashioned style in up bringing a child. Compare to us which is more updated nowadays. What i can observe is that my child is now beginning to be a spoiled brat and always wants to get what he likes. For him to never throw tantrums, they give him what he wants. And for me that is a bad habit but i can’t do anything about it because always have the final word. What i do is that when i am alone with my son i always talk to him and make him understand that he will never always get what he wants.

Right now, i am in the stage of educating and communicating with my son so that even if the environment around him is that, i am consciously instilling to him the right values.

Dealing with child tantrums

All children throw up temper tantrums once in a while, and this is the indication that the child is out of control.

Parents should note never to punish or reward a child for the tantrum, and remain calm when the tantrum takes place. Yelling or spanking from the parents side would only make the situation worse, and giving in to the child’s unreasonable demand would only encourage the child to throw tantrums in an even more intensity at an even more frequency. Since the child would be out of control, it is important to ensure that the child remains safe, and isolate him or her if necessary.

The best way to deal with the tantrum is to ignore the child until the tantrum passes. Once the child settles down, it is necessary to talk and explain why such behavior is not appropriate. Teach them the alternative to throwing tantrums, which would be asking or demonstration. Even toddlers who are unable to speak would understand if the parents explain things to them in a coherent manner.